Mr. Bates Legal Team Log

Dave Tomatoes-Downton Abbey 2010-Present

-So there’s this show called Downton Abbey. It’s about these snooty posh people and the unfortunate suckers who have to waste their lives waiting on them. You may have heard of it. Think it might have been up for some sort of awards shit.  Brendan plays John Bates, the valet to the Earl guy and has the worst luck of any character in anything ever. I’m guessing in S4 he’s going to get trampled in an elephant stampede while travelling with Robert in India visiting the relations (and foisting Rose back on them). It’s a veritable hotbed of British acting incest. Everyone has worked with everyone else on one show or movie or another.  On your Must Watch Brendan list, oh ffs if you’re following me YOU’VE ALREADY WATCHED IT. Moving on…

*Request-Tommy Cockburn, the coolest cursing Scot around (second to FRS, of course:) 

*Original vid posted by the most excellent ELVis

Dave Tomatoes- Common Ground 2013

-Oh milk never seemed soooo good.  Common Ground was a series of 10 min one-offs produced by Baby Cow and aired on Sky Atlantic just this past winter. Brendan played the fantastically foul-mouthed DCI Tommy Cockburn in the episode Sunshine Simon. If ever a one-off needed to become a regular series, THIS IS THE ONE! Fun fact: Sean Pertwee who played Mickey Quinn was in Waking the Dead with Brendan. On your Must Watch Brendan list put this as numero uno! *Disclaimer: There is heavy cursing in this episode. If you are a delicate sort or are convinced Brendan Coyle and Mr. Bates are the same person and the shattering of that illusion will cause you to have a mental breakdown leading to institutionalization, you’ll want to give this a miss, ya fat ball bag.

Dave Tomatoes-Rockface 2002-2003

-Fleece should never go out of style. Rockface was a too short lived tv series about a volunteer mountain rescue squad. Brendan played Douglas McLanaghan, Gordon of Gordon and Douglas’s right hand man. He has some issues, commitment and his S2 hairdo among them but even with those can climb a mountain like a spider monkey. Fun facts: Cal Macamimch who plays Ben Craig and Kenneth Bryans who plays Danny Tunick were in Downton Abbey, Richard Graham who plays Mike Bayliss was in an ep of Thief Takers, Jamie Sives who plays Peter Craig was in Wedding Belles, Rupert Evans who plays Jamie Doughan was in North & South, and Kim Vithana who plays Helen was in Waking the Dead and Dangerfield with Brendan. On your Must Watch Brendan list I’d put this at the top if you can. It’s very difficult to find full episodes and ones that aren’t dubbed. Even cropped and dubbed it’s worth a view though. 

Dave Tomatoes-The Bill 1992

-If you listen to interviews, almost every actor in the UK has done The Bill at one point and for many of them, it was their first substantial tv role. Brendan plays Chris Bailey who’s just a guy with a passion for cars…On your Must Watch Brendan list I’d say go ahead and put this up at the top. It’s short and it’s Baby Brendan (without the porn stache)

Dave Tomatoes-Offside 2006

-Who ever thought watching a movie about a down and out Swedish football team could be such fun?! Brendan plays Duncan Miller, a lover of booze, bananas, and taking shits in private. Watch this movie and I guarantee “You’ll never walk alone.” On your Must Watch Brendan list I rank this towards the top, you muppet. 

*Request: Clips of Brendan Coyle with kids from Soft Sand, Blue Sea

Dave Tomatoes-Soft Sand, Blue Sea 1998

-You’ll want to get your hankies out for this one, folks.  It’s a really good movie but not one to watch if you’re already in a mood. Brendan plays Gerry Dwyer who is basically a social worker in a home for kids. He has a decent size part and seeing him interact with the kids is adorbs. It’s heavy though. Fair warning. Fun fact: Julia Ford who plays Sarah was in The Good Samaritan with Brendan.  On your Must Watch Brendan list I’d rank this as a high middle. 

Dave Tomatoes-The General 1998

-The General aka The Shittiest Lit Movie Ever. If the lighting wasn’t so terrible this might be a good movie. As it is, I got so sick of squinting at shadows to try and figure out what was going on I pretty much forgot about the entire plot line. Brendan plays the UVF Leader and is in this for a blink. He has few lines and is in the shadows so pretty much if you didn’t know what his voice sounded like you wouldn’t know it was him. Fun facts: Maria Doyle Kennedy (love her!) who plays Frances was in I Could Read the Sky and Downton Abbey (Who the f*ck is Vera?) and Brendan Gleeson who plays Martin Cahill was in The Raven and Perrier’s Bounty with Brendan. On your Must Watch Brendan list I’d rank this towards the bottom. I love MDK and Brendan Gleeson is fab. (Jon Voight is in this too), but the BC part is so small.  I’d say watch the movie at some point though if only for MDK!

Brendan Coyle (and Brendan Gleeson) in The General 1998

Dave Tomatoes-The Bombmaker 2001

-If the little kid in this wasn’t actually afraid of him, I’d be shocked. Brendan plays George McEvoy and he even gave me the creeps. The movie itself isn’t half bad but Brendan’s part is not as substantial as in other things. Fun facts: Mark Womack who plays Martin Hayes was in Rockface, Dervia Kirwan who plays Andrea Hayes was in True Dare Kiss and Samantha Bond who plays Patsy was in Lark Rise to Candleford, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Downton Abbey with Brendan. On your Must Watch Brendan list I’d rank this in the bottom half. It isn’t bad but it isn’t great either. There’s better stuff out there.

Dave Tomatoes-Wedding Belles 2007

-So…yeah. If you are a person of a , ah, *delicate* nature, this isn’t the movie for you. Also, if you are a devout Catholic you may find this movie offensive so I’d say give it a miss. For the rest of you, WOOT BELLES! Brendan plays Father Henry, a priest with some issues.  The first few minutes will make you freak out but hang with it, it gets good. Oh so gooooood.  On your Must Watch Brendan list I’m ranking this as towards the top.  It’s so weird but MUST be watched because reasons.